Remember what it was like for you when you left your family's home to marry someone, enter the military service, go off to college or live on your own. Did your parents have any advice for you as you walked out the door and into a lifetime of decisions and confusion? Many say that the typical comment was not memorable, just "good bye" or "don't forget to write." The feelings of our own departure do not seem as painful for some reason as the ones you might be experiencing with your own child now leaving the nest. Whether or not it is easy or difficult, you will be changing over the next several weeks and months into a parent who needs to show concern at the right moment and one that needs to decide how to stay involved with their student's life. There will be many opportunities to do so; you need to rely on all of your parenting skills to find the appropriate response.
College life then and now...
All too many of us watch movies that have been made about college life, you've seen them, Animal House, 1-9! Actually, they are made for the public's entertainment and not very typical of what the college experience is all about. The movies are made so that you can enjoy odd behavior and most likely what students try to remember about their college experience. Few of us remember going to classes, tests, research papers, experiments and field trips. We do remember concerts, weekends away from campus and friends who did outrageous things with us as on-lookers.
College life in the twenty-first century may include a roommate from outer space, a residence hall room that is too small, and classes after classes after classes of less than exciting lectures. There may be times when you wonder what you have paid the college to do to your student because it continues to provide you with frustration after frustration. Eventually, we are able to get it right and by then it's time for graduate school.
Believe it or not, you have lived through driving lessons and how much it costs to insure a teen-aged driver. Yes, they will remain a teen-ager at least for two of the four, five or even six years of undergraduate school. The monthly cost for their auto insurance is reminiscent of a full year's college tuition for those of us who attended college.
College life has not changed a great deal except for all of the things that need to be brought to the campus to make your student duplicate what you currently provide in his/her room at your home. Long gone are the days that a radio, clothing and money [about $200 for books] fit into one vehicle with enough room for four adults to arrive on the campus. It is not uncommon for more than one large vehicle, a van or a truck to bring everything needed for a 12' x 14' room. This is the generation that on average watches 1,197 minutes of television per week! This is the computer generation that has simply exchanged one screen for a smaller one with lots of interactive games and e-mail accounts.
Staff Who Work in the Housing Office:
As good as life in the residence hall is, it has its challenges. Your child may encounter difficulties related to living with a roommate, confronting noisy neighbors, or dealing with different people and new situations. They may need support and assistance from time to time. Linda, Ilda, Debra, Keith, Andy and I are available to maximize residence hall experiences. You should encourage your child to get to know all of us when they move on campus. We are all committed to assisting students in making a positive transition to college.
A great deal of education occurs at the college outside of the classroom, and the Housing Office works to help develop life skills that can be utilized after leaving college. Since growth and development are of primary interest to Housing Office staff, we will first work to encourage handling situations on their own, as it is through this process that life skills develop. In as much as experiencing a roommate conflict might be difficult, they will learn a great deal from the experience, and Housing Office staff will work to encourage that learning. From time to time as a parent, you will need to step back from your desire to solve your student’s problem. By letting them work through situations with the assistance of the Housing Office staff, you will also share in the process of helping your child to acquire important life skills.
Drinking/Alcohol:
Residents and parents often ask that because the student is over 21 can they drink in their room. College and the residence center community standards state that the possession, use, consumption, or being under the influence of alcoholic beverages is prohibited. Studies show that 76% to 92% of all college students drink alcohol, if only occasionally. It is the drug of choice among college students as well as the rest of the American population. In fact, it is the most heavily used drug in America today – even more so than aspirin. Between 53% and 84% of college students get drunk at least once a year, and between 26% and 48% get drunk at least once a month. There are four major explanations why so many students are influenced to abuse alcohol in college: Sex roles, peer-group pressures, search for the college experience and maturity. Sit with a group of students telling about their college experiences and count how many times the stories include the phrases, "I was so drunk that…." What will happen if your student is caught with alcohol in the residence hall? If we suspect that there is alcohol activity in a room we, accompanied by Campus Security, knock on the door and identify ourselves and ask for permission to enter. If the student does not respond within a reasonable period of time, Campus Security is authorized to use a master key to enter the room. We will look for both open and closed containers of alcohol. The Dean of Enrollment Services and/or coach, if your child is participating in a sport, will be informed and your child’s ability to live in the residence hall will be terminated, plus the potential of his/her losing the ability to remain in school.
Drugs:
Yakima Valley Community College and the residence hall have a zero tolerance level for drugs. The use or possession of drugs is inconsistent with the goals of an educational environment. Where drugs exist unchecked, use and distribution increases. No one is more vulnerable to violence than somebody who is dealing with drugs. Students dealing in drugs can be beaten, robbed, and, killed for their money and their drug supply. College years of late adolescence and early adulthood are a period in which some men and women are subject to considerable peer pressure. Students who under other circumstances may not consider trying drugs may be encouraged to do so. In an effort to gain the approval of their peers, students can easily be caught in a cycle of drug abuse that inhibits them from attaining their educational goals. Because one of the goals of higher education is to help people realize their full academic and personal potential, students who have made the decision not to pursue this goal by choosing to impair their development through the use of drugs probably do not belong in college. Such students are wasting their time and money. If we suspect that there is drug activity in a room we, accompanied by Campus Security, knock on the door and identify ourselves and ask for permission to enter. If the student does not respond within a reasonable period of time, Campus Security is authorized to use a master key to enter the room. If drugs and/or paraphernalia are found your student will be given one hour to gather enough personal belongings for one night and asked to leave the facility. We will attempt to find a room in the local mission for the night. Your student will not be allowed back into the facility until he/she has met with the Dean of Enrollment Services at which time a determination will be made as to their return to the facility as well as retention of student status.
Guests:
We are also asked if guests are allowed. Our community standards allow an overnight guest in rooms a maximum of two nights within a given seven day period. Longer visits are permitted with the approval of the Housing Office. Guest rental rooms are available for $20+ per night. All guests under the age of 18 must be accompanied by their parent. Of course, as a parent you are welcome to visit at any time.
The Apartment Quest
After about the first quarter of living in the residence hall many students are considering a move from the residence hall into apartments. Though students justify their move by blaming the noise in the residence, or the belief that it is less expensive to live in an apartment than it is to live in the residence halls, the real issue is independence. Nothing seems to epitomize independence more than having one’s own apartment. It presents a new freedom, a new lifestyle, and a new experience. Some students probably benefit from having their own apartment. It requires the development of some new skills in working with people and meeting the demands of utility and telephone bills, and cleaning for themselves. Students remain in the residence hall because of the sense of community. Students who enjoy the experience of associating with others will stay.
Money Matters
Some students are money savvy while others struggle along. Encourage smart financial practices by:
Setting limits if your student is using a credit card that you provided,
Working together to set up a budget plan for the year,
Warning your student not to apply for every credit card offered,
Having him/her chip in to pay expenses rather than always relying on you for a handout, Discouraging frequent visits to the ATM,
Encouraging him/her to keep an eye out for scholarships and other financial opportunities.
Preparing for Move-In Day:
The day is quickly approaching. Hundreds of questions are floating around in your head.When your child lives in the residence center, room fees cover the furnished room and all utilities. Each room is wired for telephone, cable and internet. Each room is also individually climate controlled with a heating/air conditioning unit.
Things to Consider:
- Irons, ironing boards, brooms, mops, dustpans, and vacuums are provided in the hall. Don’t spend money on things you don’t need, or that may be provided.
- All rooms have adequate overhead and study desk lighting. But you may need to provide or supplement existing lighting. For safety reasons we ask that you do not bring halogen lights.
- Most rooms have adequate storage space. You can supplement this space with milk crates or plastic storage containers. Some space is available under the bed to accommodate these containers.
- The residence hall has very specific fire safety rules. Candles, halogen lamps, hot plates or appliances with open heating elements, and incense/incense burners are not allowed. Please leave them at home, as they will be subject to confiscation if found by Housing Office staff.
- Did you remember towels? Washcloths? A robe to wear to the bathroom? This will be their room for a while so be sure to include personal items to make the room their own.
Safety of belongings:
Believe it or not, many residents tend not to lock their room door. Residence halls are communities that face many of the same challenges faced by society in general, including theft. Encourage locking room doors-when they leave the room and when they are sleeping. Valuables should not be kept in the room, including large sums of money. The Housing Office has a safe and we will gladly store valuables and money for residents.
What Happens during school breaks?
Residents do not need to move out during breaks IF: we have a signed contract for, and the resident intends to return the following quarter. Room fees are for the entire month, so if your student does not move out of the room they will be responsible for payment for the entire month (just like a house or apartment rental).
Last Minute Suggestions:
You are probably scrambling to get ready for a new lifestyle. Once school starts, things will settle down and your student will soon fall into a daily routine, become more comfortable and meeting new friends. Encourage your child to attend all dorm and floor meetings, make friends, introduce themselves and get to know fellow residents, learn dorm rules, take a tour of the campus and dorm, but most of all have fun and make the most of it.
Some families are so concerned they think that the college may have selected them for special treatment. They assigned the "roommate from h---," Animal House was filmed there and continues to live on, classes are taught by non-English speaking professors, no one speaks to your student, parking ticket revenue is doubled every time you visit your student, and long distance telephone charges couldn't possibly be that much!
There is no rule that says how many times you can visit with your college student. I assure you that trips to the campus will become fewer as he/she advances. The first year is the most difficult for all concerned as adjustments to being away from family and friends is most exaggerated. For the majority of students attending college, there are a few rough times, but the transition is made and all adjust to the differences in family routine. Just remember, the college does not always capture your student for all twelve months of the year, there is the summer time adjustment to this almost educated adult who has missed a number of the household routine adjustments.
The college has a residence life and/or student life staff that deals with difficult situations. Before you make a trip to the campus to resolve a problem, you might want to have your student talk with me or any member of the Housing Office staff. If that does not produce results and you are very concerned about what may be occurring, the Dean for Enrollment Services is one person you should be able to contact.
Our judicial processes incorporate many of the same forms of representation that our legal system utilizes. It is never easy to listen to situations that have occurred when young people make inappropriate decisions because of alcohol or drugs. We have had situations where a student has tried to hurt himself/herself and it is an attempt to alert all of us to the pain he/she may be experiencing. Those visits are difficult and mom and dad need to be a part of the solution. Students need to learn to take care of themselves by asking for help. The college has all of the services that are needed in a time of crisis, and we can be of great assistance in helping you determine what the best course of action is.
Illnesses are often times a warning signal that the stress of a new environment and being away from support mechanisms, even a younger brother or sister, is beginning to take its toll. The first two years are the most common time for mono or persistent colds and sore throats. Sufficient rest and healthy eating habits insure a better sense of well being.
If it were as easy as reading this or a list of do's and don'ts, you might not need to consider the expense of sending a student to college in the first place. You are the expert in dealing with your student no matter what the situation. You have had eighteen years or more of experience in knowing how to cope and how to help him/her with concerns. That learning process cannot be forgotten just because he/she is miles away from you. He/she is still in need of your reassurance and care. Keep the credit card handy for those occasions that merit something special.
Living in a residence hall can be an exciting and rewarding experience for your student. Through this experience they will hopefully meet life-long friends and learn how to live independently in a group environment. They will be encouraged to grow and develop through encountering people and situations that are different than what they have known before they moved into the residence hall. Living in the residence hall is not just a place to sleep and study, but a place to grow, mature and gain valuable life experiences. We will treat your child as an adult--with respect and a caring attitude. My staff and I have years of experience in the residence center and have a true desire to see each and every student grow, experience life and make the most of these two years, both personally and educationally. Our interactions and relationship with this wonderful group of young people is what keeps us here.
We make ourselves very available during "office hours" and beyond; we welcome everyone to come to us with a problem; we will get your child involved in solving their own problems instead of relying upon others to do it for them; we intervene if we become aware of a potentially life-threatening behavior; we respect their privacy yet don’t always promise confidentiality-after all, we may need to get others involved in order to ensure their well-being. we don’t serve as "babysitters."; we are concerned with everyone’s safety and educate them on ways to keep themselves safe; we don’t ever want to see anyone get hurt; we expect students to take responsibility for their own actions, and we are here to support them.
Self-responsibility is one of the most important things your child can learn at college and in college housing. It may initially take some trial and error for the lessons to kick in, but once they do, your child will have learned a valuable fact: no one is responsible for your life but you. We expect everyone to take responsibility for their own lives.
That’s why it’s not up to you to "fix" things when something happens. Many people are available to your child to help them right a wrong. As long as they take responsibility for their choices and actions, they’ll find support every step of the way.
It’s possible that your child will be tempted to experiment with alcohol and other drugs during his/her college years. You can help him/her make wise choices by: talking openly about alcohol and other drugs; empowering him/her to say "no" when something doesn’t feel right; learning all you can about alcohol, "date rape drugs" and other substances; not glorifying your own "youthful drinking days", if you had them; and leaving the lines of communication open.
Your child’s world is going to become bigger because of her college experiences. The things s/he learns in class, the people s/he encounters, the experiences s/he has, the discussions s/he engages in…all can lead to greater understanding, acceptance and appreciation. We want your child to become the best person s/he can be---a solid citizen, a compassionate friend and an accepting individual.
You've left your student at school. She's working hard with her roommate to make their room livable. He's decided to go to dinner with some of the guys on the floor. The last thing on your mind is the campus judicial process. However, in these first few months of school, your student is experimenting with a freedom he or she may never have known before. They are just learning the rules and regulations that govern their living communities and some of them are going to run into situations that will cause them to become involved in a campus judicial system.
Our judicial system is in place to guarantee a safe, secure living and learning environment for all members of the college community. The judicial system is not designed for punishment, but to help educate and develop students toward being positively contributing community members.
Students are given information about the judicial system in a variety of ways. College student handbooks and residence hall guides are part of your student's check-in package. These publications discuss college policies (smoking, visitation, alcohol, drugs, quiet hours, etc.). [Just between us, we know most students don't read these handbooks, regardless of how much we'd like them to. Please tell your student to at least put the handbook away and remember where it is if they need it!
Resident students are also informed about the rules and regulations (called community standards) in other ways. Staff may use meetings, newsletters, or personal contact to discuss policies. In fact, because of all these means, most students are well-informed about the college's policies.
If your son or daughter becomes involved in a possible policy violation, the campus judicial system swings into action. Incidents are usually documented by staff members on an Incident Report Form. Most students refer to this as being "written up." Infractions like quiet hours, visitation violations are handled by one our "Dorm Moms" or me. Most incidents can be easily resolved at this level, resulting in a written warning, perhaps a period of probation or an educational or service project.
On occasion, incidents are more significant, and require that the student involved proceed to the Dean of Enrollment Services. As a parent you will not be notified of the infraction and disposition of the case. Institutions that receive federal funds are governed by privacy laws (the Family Educational Rights to Privacy Act, or FERPA, and the Buckley Amendment), which preclude parental notification without written permission from the student involved.
What's most important for you to understand as parents?
- The system is in place to protect your student.
- The system is not a legal system, but does follow a stated due process in order to protect your student's rights.
- The system has been developed to provide educational and growth opportunities for your student.
- The college staff is interested in your concerns, but may be restricted by law with what they may share with you. Open communication with your student is your best bet to helping him or her in this process.
- Your expectations of your students and their behaviors are key to their success.
At the End of the Year:
Students are required to move out no later than the Saturday following the last class day of spring quarter. We ask that you make arrangements to do so. For those students staying the summer, they will be required to move to a newly assigned room, as all summer residents live on one floor. We do extensive cleaning and maintenance during this time. All room furniture must be put back and rooms cleaned just as it was when they moved in.
Housing Office staff, for the most part, direct our communications with the resident, but we felt that as a parent you often have questions. So, this information has been compiled to help you, the parent or guardian understand the basics of housing at Yakima Valley Community College. As always, my staff and I are available for questions or concerns about your child. Give us a call (509-574-4880 or 574-4885), e-mail us at bmugleston@yvcc.edu or come for a visit.
YVCC complies with all federal and state rules and regulations and does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, creed, marital status, age, religion, sexual orientation or veteran status. Inquiries regarding compliance and/or grievance procedures may be directed to the college’s Title IX/RCW 28A.640 officer and/or Section 504/ADA coordinator through the Human Resources Director, P.O. Box 22520, Yakima, WA, 98907-2520, 509-574-4676 / TDD 509-574-4687.
For any additional information please contact any of the following: